We are now officially in the terrible threes and it's been, well, pretty terrible.
She doesn't listen AT ALL. I can tell her something ten times and she won't do it. For example, putting her coat on in the morning so we can get to daycare on time so I can get to work on time. I am probably more generous than I should be as far as how many times I tell her to do something before some sort of punishment is dished out (spanking, time out, revoking of privileges). I guess I do that because I want to give her a chance to do the right thing before I deal out the punishment that I dealt to her not 5 minutes ago for some other offense (or maybe even the same offense). Other offenses are eating on the couch, shoes on the couch, messing with the cats, spitting, etc. I seriously feel like all I do lately is punish her for one thing or another.
She doesn't DO crazy things. Like, I've never found her in the kitchen with a full bag of flour spread all over the place. Well, I did find her behind a chair spreading Neosporin all over her face...and there was the incident with the Chapstick...And when she ate all those TUMS....
Okay, so she does do crazy stuff like that. But what super pisses me off is the back talking and attitude that she gives us. She does this chin thing where you'll say something and she'll look at you, jut out her chink and go, "ungh!" And recently she's started doing the same thing but instead of the chin jut and "ungh" she looks at you and hisses like a snake. There were a couple times this past weekend where I told her to do something, probably a billion times, and she walked away from me down the hall and I heard her say, "shut up" under her breath.
She can be kind of cruel too. There have been several times where she's said stuff like, "I don't like you!" and "Go away from me!" One time H walked in the room and she said, "I don't want you here!" I don't particularly care that she says, "I don't like you" to me. I don't know if she understands what she's saying or not and it's not my job to be her friend, I'm her parent. H on the other hand does take it quite personally when she is mean like that and his feelings get hurt.
I've spoken with her daycare provider and other than wanting stuff when she wants it and taking it, she is fine there. She assured me that the behavior that I described to her is typical of a three year old. I figured as much but I wanted to make sure that there wasn't something going on that needed to be addressed. It was nice to have confirmation that I am not just being a terrible parent after all.
On top of the general terribleness she has suddenly decided that 6:00 am is an appropriate wake up time. So. Not. Cool. H got up with her this past Saturday (and I slept til 10am-glorious!) and then I got up with her on Sunday. Needless to say it was my turn to be grumpy pants. So what if 6am is the time that I usually get up to go to work. I swear my body goes into weekend mode and it does not matter that I've been up at the time 5 days in a row. Weekends are for waking up no earlier than 8am. although I'd prefer 9am. When I asked why she was getting up so early she said, "Because it's light out!" Ha, barely! Light blocking curtains have officially been purchased and I am looking forward to sleeping a little later this weekend. Or at the very least really, really hoping for it.
I cared slightly more about Valentine's this year than I usually do, mostly because of Ruby. (I've quite enjoyed the past few years and being able to get away with not really celebrating certain holidays) There are little heart-shaped window clings on our window and the door is covered in a sad attempt at a family craft project (can you say Pinterest FAIL?).
At daycare they had a little party in her class. I had questioned whether or not it was really necessary to bring v-day cards for 3yo's* but apparently it's legit. I had some free time that day so I went to daycare to hang out with her at the party. There was one other parent there and we ended up passing out treats and divvying up v-day cards into bags for the kids while the teacher tended to a little girl who was screaming her head off. Afterwards Ruby asked to go home with me so I brought her home. Twenty minutes later she asked to go back to daycare. Twenty minutes after that the sugar kicked in and I was wishing I could take her back!
At home we enjoyed a large assortment of meats, cheeses, and olives. There was also crackers but I don't even bother with those. It's all about the prosciutto and olives for me! We each had our own wine type drinks, Jam Jar for H, Lambic's Framboise for me, and sparking grape juice for Ruby. Ruby didn't like the grape juice. I thought we'd have to pry the bottle out of her sticky little fingers! She did however really like the goat cheese with garlic, gouda, and havarti. After Ruby went to bed H and I continued plowing through episodes of Breaking Bad. We just finished season 3.
Originally we'd had plans to go to dinner on Saturday night, just H and I, but bad weather kept his parents away and we cancelled our reservations. H takes things like this much more in stride than I do. I was terribly disappointed that we had to cancel, as we haven't had any time to ourselves since before Ruby switched to her new daycare, about 6 weeks. I seriously don't know how some people can go months, even years without being away from their kids. H was totally down with bringing her with us to the restaurant but after the Noodles & Co. incident
there was no way in hell. Instead we watched more Breaking Bad and raided the leftover olives.
How did you celebrate V-day? If at all!
*you know how many shits those kids gave about the cards? Approximately zero. I tried showing them to Ruby the next day but all she cared about was the Spongebob gummy crabby patties. (gross)
Typically our winters here go like this. It usually doesn't get below 30 until almost January, there are bits of snow here and there but they never stick around for more than a few days before things warm up and melt it all away. We rarely have to shovel sidewalks (it makes me wonder how many people actually own shovels around here) and if there are official City of Lexington snow plows I've never seen them. There is occasionally ice. In late January/early February, after the buds have appeared on the trees and my hyacinths have started peaking out of the ground, there is usually a cold snap with some snow which kills the aforementioned hyacinths. At work, this cold spell has people clamoring for warm coats, hats, and gloves, all of which have already been marked down and are all sold out. By mid-March all is peachy keen with the world and we get to enjoy a month or two of mild temps before it gets viciously hot outside and people start complaining about the heat.
I took this photo of Ruby playing on the playground a couple of Saturdays ago:
and just a few days later it looked like this:
I realize that in the grand scheme of winters, Kentucky winters are pretty wussy. I know my Canadian and Minnesota friends would kill for what we deal with! But still, I am over winter. This year has definitely been the longest, most winter-like winter that I've experienced since moving here. I've shoveled several times (one of only a few people in the neighborhood that even bother) and the bag of ice melt that's been sitting, virtually untouched for four years, is almost gone. They've canceled school ten times which has pushed the last day of school into June. I'm going to be so irritated when Ruby enters the school system...But for now I'm grateful that Ruby is in daycare because of course, it would have to be the Apocalypse before any retailers close. The main roads are clean but most side streets are still a lovely lasagna of ice, snow, ice, snow, ice, snow (thanks for the analogy, Rachel!) And let's not talk about how high my electric bill was...Gees!
It's not all bad though, really. I get to tap into my Minnesota roots, shoveling snow Like a Boss, demonstrating my stellar winter driving skillz, with windows completely scraped off, thank you. None of this half-ass crap that I see around me on the roads. Also, our lives have been full of delicious chili (which Ruby won't eat) and the Keurig has been hard at work making lots of dark roasts (for Heath) and lot of cappuccino (for me and very occasionally, Ruby), keeping us warm. Plus with no beautiful weather making me feel guilty about staying inside I have a perfectly good excuse to catch up on Breaking Bad.
Ruby doesn't seem phased by the weather whatsoever. I took her outside to play a few days ago and she was all like, "Hell yeah!" and ran around like a nut making snow angels, eating snow, and trying to find icicles to nom on. Obviously we don't have the most ideal of snow gear for her but she seemed to do fine with multiple layers and the occasional changing of wet mittens.
We've inadvertantly started a new family tradition here in the Appleby-Williams household. It's called Family Nap Time. I can't remember exactly when FNT started, probably a couple months ago during the sick times. Thankfully, we've been funk free for over a month now but Terrible Three's Ruby is wearin' us the heck out so FNT has continued.
FNT takes place only on the weekends, between the hours of 2pm-5pm, give or take, basically whenever Ruby takes her nap. Sure, I could be doing vital things around the house like the dishes, laundry, or any number of boring household chores. Certainly, my house isn't the tidiest place in the world (bedroom floor, we have one??), but frankly I don't care. I'm not trying to impress anyone and I know that "keeping the house cleaner" isn't going to be on my list of Things I Regret Not Doing.
At first H didn't participate in FNT. Instead he'd play video games. He's always said that naps are a waste of time, but recently I think that he's come to understand just why naps are so, so awesome. "Waste of time." Pffft.
sleeping late. I just kept thinking, "don't pee on the couch, don't pee on the couch!"
I have no idea how long FNT will continue. Obviously Ruby will be going to school as some point. Or, heaven forbid, she could just stop wanting to take naps altogether. Until then though, I am going to enjoy the heck out of it!
Tonight was one of the not-so-great parenting nights. There is a Noodles and Company by us opening in a few days and we were invited to enjoy a preview dinner. For FREE! Win! N&C is one of H's favorite restaurants so we were pretty psyched.
Cue a certain little girl who decided not to take a nap at daycare.
As we entered the restaurant someone gave Ruby a ginormous Rice Krispie bar. I took it away from her, stuck it in my bag and told her she could have some after dinner. Two seconds later, when I was distracted by ordering food, she snuck the bar out of the bag and started opening it. I took it away from her which caused her to throw herself to the floor and start screaming her head off. I picked her up, spanked her (as best you can when attempting to hold a screaming, wriggly toddler on your hips, exposing your stomach all the while. Thanks for that one, Rubes).
At the table she calmed down a bit but was no less intent on her goal of consuming the rice krispie bar. She was mildly distracted by the arrival of our pasta and ate a few bites after we again told her she could have the bar after she ate. Of course, to her eating two measly bites is eating a full meal, thus entitling her to eat the rice krispie bar. We pressed her to eat just a bit more and she completely melted down. We tried to talk to her and get her to calm down but that didn't worked so H carried her out of the (very, very crowded) restaurant kicking and screaming. I flagged down a server to get to-go containers.
Of course when your kid is screaming at the top of their lungs in a packed restaurant (I'm talking the line to order was out the door) it seemed like it took H like ten minutes to get her the hell out of there. I was totally mortified and practically in tears. On my way out of the restaurants a woman in line for drinks patted me on the shoulder and told me, "Don't worry, it'll be okay" and gave me a sympathetic smile. (I love people like this, btw) I thought I was doing a somewhat decent job at hiding the fact that I was upset but apparently not.
As soon as I got into the car I burst into tears. I was just SO frustrated with the situation. Frustrated that she behaved the way that she did, frustrated that we couldn't get the situation under control, and dangit, totally friggin' frustrated that I just couldn't enjoy a dang meal isthatsomuchtoask! I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Realistically I am sure that a good chunk of my fellow diners have or have had kids and have been in the same boat before and are at least somewhat sympathetic or ate least more tolerant of those kinds of things. I just don't want to be the parent of THAT child or be one of THOSE parents who let their kids scream and scream and scream in public.
So on the way home Ruby's in the back screaming (still) and I'm in the front sobbing. Poor Heath. He asked if there was anything that he could do but I just kind of shrugged. I hatehatehate doubting everything that we do with her when it comes to discipline. I just don't know if what we are doing is the right thing for the situation at hand or perhaps we are being too lenient but then I don't want to be too much of a hard ass either. Or I don't know if the punishment that we are doling out fits the crime or if it's totally pointless because she doesn't remember what she did/isn't developmentally able to understand what is going on. And I know you are supposed to be consistent but there are some days when I feel like I am sending her to her room every 5 minutes for one offense or the other, sometimes the exact same offense! ARGH!!!
In the end we got home and put her immediately to bed after we had a talk with her. I know it wasn't pointless to have the conversation with her, even though I am sure that she'll forget everything we said. It'll stick eventually, right?? Please, for the luvva God, tell me that it will stick.
You know what she won't forget about though? That gd rice krispie bar.
**the next morning I opened her door to find her naked and trying to get dressed. She looked at me and smiled and then asked, "Where's my treat??" Uh huh.**
Once again it's been so long since I've posted that a post of random topics seems the best way for me to catch up:
- Ruby is in a new daycare now. Switching has been a lot more emotional for me than I thought it would. I cried a lot on her last day at old daycare. Her, not at all. I was sad for her because she was leaving her friends, several of which I'd consider to be her BFF's (they hug each other goodbye, say "I love you" to each other, talks about them constantly when outside of daycare). Transition to new daycare has been going okay. She doesn't want me to leave in the morning and often asks, "Can you chill with me for a little bit?" The teachers say that she's doing great for being so new which is about what I expected. This daycare costs more-which sucks-but there are benefits for me as well. Online bill pay! No waiting at the front door for someone to let us in! (sometimes it's the little things)
- My brothers, mother, and unofficial sister-in-law were here last week for a visit. They were hoping for an escape from the crazy cold on Minnesota but sadly (for all involved) it ended up being pretty cold down here as well. As per the usual the few days they were here were spent running around like crazy nuts trying to accomplish a bunch of stuff in little time. I was off all week from work and when they left Thursday am I took that day off to recover from the craziness.
- We chopped off Ruby's hair. Like pixie cut chopped off. I had wanted to do this the last time we cut her hair but H wasn't on board. He actually suggested the pixie cut this time around though. We mentioned to Ruby that we were going to cut her hair "like daddy's" (not the best comparison, I know) and she didn't seem to care so we went with it. I was freaking a bit as the hair fell to the floor at the salon but when all was said and done I LOVED it. Much better than her old Christopher Lloyd-esque hair before. It is SO much easier to deal with in the morning. That may or may not have been my motivation for the cut in the first place...
- I booked tickets for Ruby and I to Minnesota in late April/Early May. I haven't been home since Dec. 2012 to this trip has been a long time coming. I kind of would have preferred to go up in March but, well, I wanted it to be a tad warmer first! I was lucky that the plane tickets has gone down a bit ($340 from $550 a month or so ago) AND I was able to get a non-stop flight. Priceless, let me tell you. It totally sucks having to buy 2 tickets though. She would totally still fit on my lap, lol.
I know, I know, you are probably so OVER all of the new years posts. Tough nuts. Here is one more :) Looking back these were my hopes for 2013 and how things turned out: Being nicer to myself. Stop eating crap, exercise, drink more water, eat more fruits and veggies, etc.
Well, that didn't work out so well for me did it? In fact, I gained more weight this year than I'm willing to admit, putting me at my heaviest weight ever. So, so grateful for being tall and hiding it fairly well. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Maybe I'll hire someone to mow our lawn this year, just to take something off of my plate.
Yep. Didn't hire anyone to mow my lawn and I barely mowed it myself, leading to one helluva jungle in the backyard. It took me quite a few hours to get the back all cleared out towards the end of October. (in case you're wondering, H is allergic to grass and to the outdoors in general)Spending more time with friends. Girls night has gone the way of the dodo and I miss seeing my friends!
Didn't do to well on this either. I did get to welcome my friend Kelly back from NC though. Push myself when it comes to my art...even though I want to climb into a hole and never come out. I plan on entering a few art fairs and shows.
I did fairly well with this actually. Win! I entered and was accepted into the Woodland Art Fair. It was awesome. I was also accepted for exhibition in a show in Maryland. Vacation. No definite plans yet but we are looking at spending some time in Dublin in late 2013. Heath and I haven't been on vacation since Florida right before Ruby was born so I think it's about time.
Sadly, a couple unplanned surgeries for H and unexpected kitty cancer (which resulted in the loss of our Oliver) meant that our savings account was basically demolished, canceling any plans we had for a trip to Europe. We did however, get to go to Asheville, N.C. in October while Ruby played with her grandparents in Pigeon Forge. It was a great trip and I'm so grateful for the chance to get away. So what's up 2014? Get my shit together
. Hmmm. I guess I should break that down a bit, that is pretty vast…
Okay.Eat out less
. There are way too many fast food bags clogging up my garbage can right now. It's really quite embarrasing. I care mainly because of the bad eating habits that Ruby is surely developing right now. I should probably cut myself some slack considering that December was Plague Month but still. Gym. More. ASAP.
I just renewed our membership so there are no excuses…other than the usual. I especially would like to do more yoga and swimming. More Art
. After Woodland time in the studio pretty much flatlined. I've been in the studio a couple of times but very, very sporadically and not enough time to really get the chance to play and come up with new things. Probably the biggest thing I'd like to do this year is make myself a studio at home.
On the advise of another artist I plan on applying to the Crafty Supermarket
in Cincinnati. I'm also one of 9 artists participating in our local CSA(rt)
program. Both of those events are in April so the year is wide open after that.FInd Balance.
I started typing something but ended up with an entire posts worth. So more on that soon!Enjoy Ruby more
. It's not that I don't enjoy her but I could definitely spend more and better quality time with her. Lately I feel like all she does is whine, whine
and it drives me crazy. Plus, she isn't a great listener. Therefore I feel like most of the time I am with her I am incredibly frustrated with her and just generally annoyed. One particularly bad night H made a comment to the effect of "I can't believe you are so patient with her" I've never considered myself to be very patient with her so that kind of blew me away. Honestly, I think I'd gotten to the point past anger to where you have no other choice to be patient otherwise things would just go down hill super, super fast. Anyway. I just need to focus on the fact that she is still super funny and adorable and try to work past those other times in a more productive way. Less social media
. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this but I have felt a lot envy when perusing Facebook and Instagram lately. People on sweet vacations in warm places, eating at trendy restaurants, or just people doing things without having to worry about getting a babysitter. I don't usually feel like this and I don't like the fact that I was so I have cut back a lot on Facebook and haven't been on Instagram in about a month. I still read blogs and I would still like to continue writing on this one but I need to take a step back for a while.
I'd ask what your plans were for the new year but chances are I've already read your blog posts :)
Christmas is all said and done. As usual it didn't really feel like the holidays to me. Working surrounded by christmas decorations and even buying and wrapping gifts didn't seem to help. I'm sure being sick practically the entire month of December didn't help. If it wasn't some crazy respiratory virus then it was some crazy stomach funk that traveled from Ruby to me and finally to Heath. I think *knock on wood* that we are all better now and will hopefully stay that way for a while.
For Christmas we did the usual, went down to H's parent's house and opened gifts on Christmas Eve. Ruby was surprisingly so NOT into the whole thing. She was being a major pain during dinner and then while we were opening gifts she was throwing things and just being a little brat. I seriously wanted to be like, That's it. No more presents! A quick swat on the butt and a time-out, while everyone else continued to open gifts, and she was okay….Sort of. Thankfully we were near the end of opening gifts, we cleaned up, and scooted her off to bed.
Ruby got several gifts, including lots of Play Dough, some clothes, and a new pair of glittery shoes, but she was most excited about the stuffed Target dog that I won at work. Proving, once again, that you don't need to spend a lot of money to make a toddler happy.
The next day we went to H's cousin's house, had a late lunch, opened a few gifts and then it was time to head home. Ruby fell asleep within two minutes of getting in the car so it was a nice, quiet ride home. The day after was crazy at work and then I made the wrong decision to head to the mall afterwards. I waited for a while at GAP to buy some things for Ruby for next winter (an additional 50% off clearance, Whoo!). Thankfully, I didn't want Starbucks…The line was about 3 store fronts long!
Oh, and Ruby turned 3 on the 17th...
Did you know Dairy Queen makes ice cream cupcakes? They're awesome!
and had her 3-year check up today. 30 lbs and 37.5", 50th percentile across the board. She had one shot but she took that pretty well, thankfully.
And, yeah, this has pretty much been my December. Sick, work, Ruby's birthday, and Christmas. I hope everyone is well and had a great Christmas!
I've been dealing with a sinus/cough funk for almost two weeks now. Annoying. Mostly because my energy is zapped and by the time I get home from work I want to do nothing but sleep or zone out on the internet. I'm mostly unproductive but some things have happened. We decorated for Christmas already. Usually you're lucky if the tree gets up at all but this year we put it up the day after Thanksgiving. Last year I waited until after Ruby's birthday but decided that this year I'd just go ahead and put everything up. If at any point she has a problem with Christmas decorations before her birthday we'll deal with it but for now, it's up.
A few weeks ago we did a little family portrait session. The photographer was a 15-year old high school, a student of a friend of mine, named Abbey
. I was pretty impressed with her in many ways. 1. She's already taking pretty good pictures and 2. She is already certain that she wants to do photography for a living. Hell, I am 36 (I still can't believe that) and I still am not 100% certain what I want to do when I grow up. Or at the very least I am constantly doubting that what I'm doing is the right thing…
Ruby basically ran around non-stop the entire time and since there was a swing set at the location we were shooting, well, that's pretty much all she wanted to do. Until she saw the horse, then she just spend 10 minutes yelling at it trying to get its attention.
raising the roof!
This is my favorite of the outtakes. Ruby, in the middle of one of her mega-cheesy grins (which were plentiful that day), Me rolling my eyes because dangit, why can't she just smile a normal smile? And Heath, probably thinking about how crazy we all are : )
In honor of Small Business Saturday I've decided, very last minute, to have a little sale over at my Etsy shop
. Right now I'm sitting on a bunch of cells left over from the Woodland Art Fair and I'd like to see them go to a good home! Oh, and if you happen to stop over at the shop, can you do me a favor? If there is a cell that you like can you "favorite" it? This helps me figure out which colors/style of cells that people like. Thanks!
If you are local and would like to buy cells in person I am one of several artist who will be participating in the Black Friday Art Sale
at the Lexington Art League, Dec 6-7th. I love this sale (and often spend more than I make…oops) because, well, if I do say so myself, all the artists are pretty dang cool, and all of the art is under $50.