Laurie Appleby-Williams
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Jasper O.

10/17/2014

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Stats
Age: 10 weeks
Weight: 15.2 pounds
Height: 25"
Head: 43cm
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Eating: As a nice gentlemen said the other day, "He certainly doesn't miss a meal!" No, he does not. Meal time is every two hours with the exception of one longer stretch (maybe 3-4 hours) at night. He consumes anywhere from 4-6oz and likes to take his sweet ol' time. My milk supply was having a hard time keeping up with his demand but thankfully a friend of mine was awesome and gave me some of her breast milk to help feed him. I also started taking Fenugreek which has made a huge difference. I now have about 100 oz. of milk in the freezer.  I am hoping supply won't be an issue from now on but I've been given the all clear by our pediatrician to start giving him solids at four months if need be. 

Cheeks: Need I say more? 
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Sleeping: During the day he only takes cat naps, sleeping for maybe 20 minutes or so. You can see him fighting sleep while he's swinging back and forth. The whole time I'm like, "DUDE. Don't fight it. Sleep is awesome!" At night the longest stretch he's ever had was 7 hours, one time. At this point Ruby was sleeping 12 hours all on one stretch so I am anxiously awaiting for the time when Jasper will do the same. I've been pretty rested considering but that may all change when I return to work in a couple of weeks.
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Disposition: Ruby was a good baby and I am grateful that Jasper is the same. He likes to snuggle more than Ruby did, he "talks" a lot and gives big smiles and laughs. He is ticklish, loves to stare up at his mobile and the painting by his changing pad. He's generally content with going along with whatever is going on which is good because he doesn't really have a choice! He likes to sleep in the car (so he road trips like a champ) and somehow, whenever shit is hitting the fan with Ruby he remains calm so that I can take care of her. I have thanked him several times for being so awesome. 

I don't know what it is, maybe it's because he's a squishy newborn and she's three, or maybe it's because I've stayed home with him longer but I am in l-o-v-e love with this little guy. Like I feel a stronger bond with him than I did with Ruby when she was the same age. If we were in Canada and maternity leave was a year long I could see myself staying home with him for that long. He's just so friggin' sweet! Those cheeks, his little chubby thigh, his willingness to let me to cram those little chubby thigh into skinny jeans. Yeah, he's a keeper! 
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Family time

10/14/2014

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Lately we have been making more of a point to do things together as a family. A few weeks back we went to Evan's Orchard. Ruby was as well behaved as Ruby can be, which included throwing and nomming of apples in the orchard as we walked around. At the end she was incredibly whiny and demanding all the treats in the shop. She also tried to steal a stuffed animal. I assume that she knew it was wrong because she was hiding it behind her back.
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This past weekend we took her to  an art exhibition at the Pope Villa near campus. Whilst exploring she tested just how child proof the exhibition really was. I was offered a tour  but instead of getting to hear about the history of the house I was trying to make sure she didn't destroy art (Jasper was being fussy so Heath was looking after him). They had crafty activities for the kids to do (it was family day) but she had little interest in that beyond wanting to take the things that other people had already made. Ah, my little klepto.

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On our way out of the exhibition we could dress in old-timey clothes and take a photo in the entry way of the house. I thought it would be a cute family picture but Ruby was having absolutely none of it. I chased her down, attempted to reason with her, and even bribed her with a donut but in the end it was just Heath, Jasper, and I in the picture. She was down on the lawn with one of the exhibition workers running around like a spastic monkey and hurling bocci balls around like little shot-puts. She was obviously tired. Wouldn't it be nice to get MORE energy when you're tired instead of wanting to collaps?
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After all this time you think that maybe I'd go into the situation with different expectations but somehow I always go in thinking that I am going to be able to enjoy myself as I would have B.K.-before kids. That's probably where I mess up. Maybe if I were focused solely on Ruby's enjoyment I wouldn't feel so frustrated when shit eventually hit the fan and she's being dragged out kicking and screaming. At the same time life isn't all about her and Heath and I should be able to enjoy ourselves too! Sometimes "enjoying myself" consists of not having to leave early or wanting to get a cute picture. I don't think that's too much to ask! But then again, I'm asking a three year old. I am so ready for this terrible threes business to be over with. Feeling like you're in constant FAIL mode as a parent blows. 

But despite it all we'll continue to go*. I figure it's to the point that Ruby will start having memories of what is going on around her and maybe, just maybe, by taking her out more we will finally be able to get her to behave a little better. It's probably something we should have done in the first place, maybe we wouldn't be in the mess we are in now. Hopefully Jasper will be better about it since he has no choice but to go along for the ride. We are heading to Tennessee this weekend to spend some times with the grandparents at an indoor water park so we'll have another chance to work things out. I'll consider the week a success if no one drowns, I get to go on a few watersides myself (this trip was originally planned for when I was still pregnant but I wanted to go on watersides too so we pushed it back), and of course pictures are taken, preferably without the camera taking a plunge. 

*(that's another thing, at what point will she realize that if she acts a certain way she'll get opportunities taken away from her? Right now we could threaten not to take her to a certain place but really, the only ones being punished are Heath and I. She doesn't seem to care.)
 


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Jasper's Birth Story Part Deux

10/8/2014

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In case you need a refresher (since it's been forever): Jasper's Birth Story Part 1.

Okay, let's do this. 

The day before Jasper's birth I awoke confident in my decision to stay the course with the home birth. I'd been having a few very mild contractions the night before and was hopeful that they'd pick up during the day. But they didn't. They stopped completely after a couple of hours and I didn't feel any all day long. Crap. This of course made Heath and I doubt everything all over again. To keep ourselves distracted we spent the day out and about, breakfast at Winchell's, a birthday party at Moneky Joe's in the afternoon, and then Indian food for dinner with some of Heath's co-workers. Tasty, tasty distraction.

While at MJ's a friend of mine mentioned that an OB she worked with always recommended a beer and a hot bath to his patients that were "late" giving birth. I have no qualms with alcohol in moderation during pregnancy so in between the birthday party and dinner I drank a small bottle of lambic. It was so gooooood.  After we put Ruby to bed I took a bath our bathtub, which is like the most pathetic, super shallow bath tub ever but I made it work. I had a little conversation with the little dude and was like, "Look, it's okay to come on out. I'm sorry I'm stressed. Let's do this thing!" I was incredibly relaxed afterwards so I decided to go to bed right away to get some rest, "just in case" (which I'd been saying every night for the last 10 days or so).

I woke up around 12:30a to almost constant contractions. I was already way past the 5-1-1 thing. Heath called my midwife and my doula. Unfortunately my doula had another client who happened to go into labor the same night so she would be sending her back up doula, Charley, instead. Both her and my midwife suggested that I take a shower, the impression I got was that if the contractions slowed or stopped from taking the shower it was early labor, if not, I was already in active labor. I was tired so I really would have welcomed a little break but no such luck. I did feel a little better from being in the water but nothing stopped. In fact, once I got out things only started to move faster. Heath called our midwife and Charley and told them both to head over. 

Things get a little fuzzy at this point so bear with me. 

At this point but Ruby woke up and came out into the kitchen. I was leaning on the bench in the kitchen trying but not really able to keep quiet. I heard her door open and I panicked a bit. I was really worried about how she'd react to me being in pretty obvious discomfort. She look worried and asked me what was wrong in her shaky I'm-about-to-cry voice and I explained to her that the baby was coming and that mommy might make a lot of noise but that it wouldn't last long. She asked me if I was hurting and I didn't even try to lie, I said "Yes, very much". 

Ruby went back and forth between the kitchen and living room while Heath ran  around like crazy trying to get the birthing tub filled with water. The hose that we'd bought to use was working but wasn't filling it up very fast. I remember him running back and forth past me with a pitcher trying to get more water from the bathroom to get it filled. 

I felt the urge to push so I did and lost my mucus plug (supermegadisgusting-o-rama) and my water broke. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit then returned to my spot in the kitchen, kneeling on the floor and leaning on the bench at our kitchen table. A few times I looked longingly at the pool that Heath was so desperately trying to fill, so wanting to be in it, but I didn't leave that spot at the bench until after Jasper was born.

Sarah arrived shortly after and listened to the heartbeat ("perfect"). Ruby was near me. I remember her patting my head or rubbing my belly and saying something like, "It's okay, momma". Having her near me was okay for a while but eventually when she tried to touch me I told her very nicely "please don't". I had been worried about how I'd handle her near me while I was in labor. Would I get angry with her and yell at her in my compromised state? Thankfully, no! I wish I had that much patience on a normal day!

With every contraction my lower back hurt like *mad*. Sarah pressed down on my back which helped. Shortly after Charley arrived. I was leaning on the bench between a contraction, no pants, and was just like, "Hey, I'm Laurie". Nothing like meeting a person for the first time in that kind of situation! When another contraction came both Sarah and Charley pressed down on my back. I can't imagine how much it would have sucked so hard if they hadn't been doing that.

I really started feeling the urge to push about thirty minutes after Sarah arrived. I mentioned it but I'm not sure if she believed me or not. Then it happened. I poo'd. Even though this happens to most people when they give birth, it's still embarrassing! I felt it coming and really, really didn't want it to, I even attempted to will it away with my mind, but you just can't stop the poo. I said, "Oh, I just shit all over myself!". Or so I thought. Heath later corrected me and said that I actually said, "Oh shit, I just shit all over myself!". I don't know if I believe him though, he might just be messing with me. But the good thing about that? Sarah said, "When you started pooping I knew things were serious". See, look at that, a silver lining!

I soon realized that things would be over soon. It was a huge relief. I don't think I could have made it much longer with things being as intense as they were. I pushed and pushed and felt like I was pushing out a cantaloupe. The ring of fire was again a HUGE understatement. When his head was out Ruby asked, "What is that thing sticking out of momma's butt??" I pushed some more and he was out, much to my relief. The whole time I was pushing Ruby was sitting back behind me chilling on a pile of 12-packs eating out of a box of Annie's Organic crackers like she was watching a movie. When Jasper came out, with, of course, all of the accompanying  goo, she got slimed. Heath said that she was in the "splash zone"

After he was out I sat back, still on my knees. Jasper was flopped over Sarah's hands and she was rubbing his back trying to stimulate him. He was breathing but it was shallow and you could hear rattling from fluid. Turns out when you have  a super duper fast birth baby doesn't get the full benefit of being squeezed through the birth canal. I rubbed Jasper's feet and talked to him a  little bit, my level of panic seriously dumbed down by helpful birthing hormones. I looked over at Heath who has his phone out and a look of shear and utter panic on his face, practically crying. Heath said that was the worst moment of his life. His arms went numb and he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Thankfully, because Sarah is well trained and prepared and moments later Jasper let the full force of his lungs be known. And he didn't stop letting us know for about 20 minutes after that. 
Relieved, I cut the cord (since I couldn't catch him like I'd wanted to) and held him for a bit. I remember looking at him and thinking, "Holy crap, he looks like [my brother] Ben". I birthed a very large placenta and bled A LOT which freaked both Heath and I out a bit but we were assured that it was completely normal.

Heath was still pretty shaky from the drama that had just taken place so he had the doula help him to the couch and he held a very screamy Jasper while I got myself  up and went to the bedroom. After I was situated Jasper was brought in so that he could be weighed, measured, and generally checked out. I had someone bring me my camera so that I could take pics. Heath and Charley also took pics so everything right after his birth is pretty much documented. I am SO grateful for those pictures. (We kind of had arranged to have someone photograph the birth but those plans fell through last minute. I'm actually okay with that though. Everything was just so crazy fast that I don't know how photos would have turned out. Plus, I mean, I shit all over myself and my kitchen floor, no one want to see that shit. Har har har.)

After Sarah was done with Jasper she came over to check on me. I had a tear from Jasper's very large head. I opted not to get stitches because the thought of a needle sewing up in there was not at all appealing. Besides the tear everything else was looking good so after a bit of snuggling with Jasper I got up and put on the lovely pad as thick as a brick and got dressed. Things started to wind down, we managed to convince Ruby that going back to bed was a good idea, and then Sarah and Charley cleaned up the horrific mess in the kitchen. My hats off to you, ladies. To say that was not pretty is a huge understatement. Heath called his parents, I ate leftover Indian food, and I think we were back in bed by like 7-ish. 

So that is the story of Jasper's birth. Thanks for sticking around this far! Now, on to the pictures! 
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he looks huge!
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still screaming. he didn't really stop until he was dressed in a little sleeper.
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I wondered, "why is ruby naked?" Then I was told about her proximity to the splash zone.
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she was pretty eager to hold him. I was off cleaning myself up a bit so charley took this shot. priceless.


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