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PSA: Get a Massage

11/15/2013

Before I got pregnant with Ruby I'd only ever had one massage. My then-roomates bought me a spa package for Christmas. At first I was a little underwhelmed by their generosity (I was like 19, forgive me) but then I went and redeemed it. I was treated to a soak in a hot tub and then a one hour body massage. It was so amazing that I left the spa feeling either drunk or that I had woken up from the deepest sleep ever in my life.

Even though it was awesome we'll have to fast forward about 14 years to when I got my next one. Like I said I was pregnant with Ruby. My doula, Lauren, just happened to be a massage therapist and since I was a tad, read: super dee duper, stressed out at the beginning of my pregnancy she suggested prenatal massage. I ended up having a massage for every OB appointment. So one a month for the first while and then as many as one a week towards the end.

One particular massage session was very emotional. Since Lauren was our doula we had a short session where we just talked about the whole birthing process. I basically wanted to know every. little. thing. about what was going to happen and asked a ton of questions. After that I had my massage...I was maybe about 34 weeks at this point? I can't remember exactly. Anyway. During that session, Heath was there with me, and as I lay on the table I was overcome with emotion and burst into tears. I sobbed like nobodies business for a while, Heath probably totally freaking out and Lauren assuring him that it was perfectly normal behavior for a massage room. Heath and Lauren both sat in chairs around me, letting me know by their touch that they were there for me. After I was done, Lauren finished the massage, and as I got dressed I said to Heath, "Everything is going to be okay." It was incredibly cathartic and I am tearing up just thinking about how relieved and calm I felt after that moment.

Massage was one of the best things I could have done for my body and my mind. It allowed me to have time to let my mind relax and not stress out about all the things I was stressing about (there were plenty!), and Lauren's magic fingers eased the annoyance of stretching ligaments, sore hips, and helped me prepare for labor by learning just to chill the eff out. If you add up the total cost, yeah, it was definitely a splurge but one that I cannot recommend highly enough.

Since giving birth I've only had a few massages. One to fix some crazy foot pain that I lived with for a year before getting it worked on, one to help a neck thing, and most recently for a shoulder thing. And you know what? After only one session each of those problems went away. Completely fixed. I shouldn't be but I am still shocked when I leave, totally massage drunk, and I am no longer sore. It is such a simple fix! Have you ever had a massage? Do you get a massage regularly? What do you think? If you haven't I suggest that you run, not walk, to your nearest spa, Massage Envy, or local massage school!

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November 12th, 2013

11/12/2013

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Confession: I don't ever rake my leaves. a) I think they look pretty, b) I like the sound of them crunching underneath my feet, and c) there is just so dang many of them. Oh, and I always miss the day when the city comes by and sucks them up with the giant leaf vacuum. But the other day I decided to rake them up, for the sole purpose of letting Ruby jump into the pile. I remember loving that as a kid and I wanted her to have the same experience. We have two oaks and a maple in our front yard so the pile was HUGE. When she got home from daycare she saw the pile and went right for it. Must be in a kids DNA to just know that you just jump right on in!

One of the great things about having a kid is that you have a perfectly good excuse to jump in the pile without the neighbors giving you funny looks : )

leaves down the cleavage!

She was just as excited about helping to clean the leaves up at the end. I hope that she's that happy about yard work in a few years. I'll happily pass the lawn mowing duties on to her!

'Twas a good thing that I raked the pile when I did because the next day we had a little bit of snow! She digs that too.

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Ruby (November 1, 2013)

11/7/2013

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This is a long one, folks! She's changing like crazy!

Her eyesight is amazing. She can spot a dog, plane, bird, squirrel, anything, like a mile away. She'll say, "Ooh! There's a puppy!" and it will take me like 30 seconds of looking before I spot the tiny black dog walking along the freshly asphalted road in the dead of night. One time we were driving and she said, very excitedly, "ICE!" I had no idea what the heck she was talking about and it took me a while before I spotted the ice machine at the gas station that we were near. How the heck does she even know what a freakin' ice machine is??
Our conversations are entering the entertaining phase. This morning Heath took her to daycare and upon entering the car she noticed a paper pumpkin in the floor that she made: Ruby: (gasp!) "PUMPKIN!! Look daddy, there's bug on the pumpkin!" Heath: (trying desperately to see this bug she's talking about. turns out it was a teeeeeeny tiny gnat-again with the awesome eyesight!) "Yep, honey, there's a bug." Ruby: "I think he misses his mommy!"

She has started saying, "That's 'gusting!" (disgusting) and "Oh my God!" and "No mam!" which I know she picked up from her daycare director. She likes to yell that last one at the cats a lot.
She definitely requires less of my help. She refuses to let me help her wash her hair. If I ask if I can help she says, with authority, "NO! I help myself!"
Bath time has become a favorite activity again. I can run some water, give her some bath paint and she will sit in there and play for like an hour. Heaven forbid she get any water in her eyes though. Goodness gracious, she will scream a scream so terrifying that (at first) it caused me to sprint to the bathroom at a speed I never knew I could accomplish.

she didn't like the funnel cake donut!! More for me :)

She is becoming less inclined to let me take pictures of her outfits in the morning. Sad face! I usually take them with my phone and post them on Instagram (user name LaurieApplebyWilliams) but lately I've had to take them with my SLR because she will stand still for about .05 seconds, not nearly fast enough for my poor shattered iPhone to capture. I know she isn't going to let me take the photos forever but it is so cute to look back at them. Also, I imagine that if my parents had taken photos of me like that when I was a kid that I'd totally love them now.
She can correctly identify several dinosaurs including T-rex and Triceratops (which she'll sometimes call "ceratops" or "cera"). Others she is very close. Brontosaurus is "little foot" or "long neck" and a pterodactyl is "flyer" or "Petri"
She is hilarious. Just throwing this out there-we are pretty open about farts and that kind of stuff around here. She'll get this mischievous look on her face, fart, and then start to laugh hysterically. At the table one day she kept burping, pretty loud ones considering her age, H was giving her the "you'd better stop that" look. I was cracking up which only egged her on and resulted in "the look" being directed towards me. Of course we make her say excuse me and so far we haven't heard anything about her going crazy at daycare with the farting and burping so we're just rolling with it.
Speaking of. She ran over to me the other day and said, "I want to hold you!" When I picked her up she got really quiet, looked at me, and then farted super loud and started giggling like mad. I swear, she knew that she was going to fart and she wanted to fart of me! Crazy girl.

Leaves are "flowers" and she insists on gathering some each time she goes outside. I've cleaned countless leaves out of my back seat. And if there is a pumpkin within her (very vast) range of vision, she will tell you about it. Very loudly. Like oh my god a car is coming right for us! loud. I'm afraid she gets that from me.
We had our first parent/teacher conference with the daycare director the other day. They are going to start allowing her to go into the preschool room for a few hours each day. The director approached me about it in a "I know you're probably sad that your baby is growing up, poor mama don't be sad" kind of way but when she asked me about it I was all like, "Hell yeah! Go ahead and start that transition!" Haha. Yes, it's hard to believe how fast the time has gone and that she's going to be three soon, but I'm not emotional about this particular transition. My only concern was when she brought up homework. I am definitely not down with my 3yo having homework. There is plenty of time for that later, right now she needs to play and be a nut. Turns out by homework she meant simple things that we could do at home to help her learn certain skillz...which we were already doing athankfyouverymuch :)

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Halloween 2013

11/3/2013

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To get ready for Halloween there wasn't much prep. I don't really go crazy with the whole decorating things, although I wish I had it in me. All there was this year was pumpkins, and we painted those instead of carving them. I made our table worthy of a Dexter kill room and Ruby had a good time slapping paint around.

For Ruby's kitty costume I bought some white fur from the fabric store and sewed it onto a pair of leggings and a long-sleeved t-shirt. I also sewed the tail that came with the ears onto the butt of the costume. I figured it would be more likely that it'd stay ON if it were attached.

Halloween festivities were a little all over the place. Originally Trick or Treating was on actual Halloween night but due to the weather being hella windy, the mayor changed it to Friday. When the government started butting into things like Trick or Treating I don't know. I could write an entire diatribe about how I feel about that but I'll move on. Turns out the next day was so perfect it was hard to be annoyed about the whole thing.

H's work always has a big ToT event at the office. Last year Ruby scored two plastic grocery bags of candy. It was a little insane. This year I was late to the party and so she ''only'' got half a bag (thank goodness). I also couldn't find the kitty ear headband that went with her costume so she got to wear the uber cute hipster cat glasses instead. I also forgot to grab her white shoes.

After H's work thing we went over to a friends house to ToT in their neighborhood. Right as we were walking out the door she shat in her costume. I was not pleased. Especially because I suspected she was going to (she farted several times while at H's office and boy, was it stinky!) and had asked her several time if she needed to use the potty AND she had even used the potty like 15 minutes prior. Thankfully I was prepared with a back up but it had no tail BUT I found the kitty headband and the eyeliner pencil I'd bought for her nose and whiskers.

This was Ruby's first ToT out in a neighborhood. I try to be Super Laid Back Mom but a lot of times I'm just not. Sometimes I have absolutely no patience. I don't like whining and I don't like when she doesn't listen to me. And she's almost 3. So you can bet how much fun I had. Plus I was still miffed about the whole pooping in the costume thing. She was a little crazy but she had a good time. She ran from house to house, sometimes grabbing more than her fair share of candy. Most people were all like, "Oh she can take as much as she wants!" So much for trying to teach her to share and that she doesn't get everything she wants. I at least insisted on her saying thank you to everyone.

The kids all started to melt down about an hour in. We hadn't eaten dinner yet and Ruby was cracked out on Kit Kat's, Reese's, and random suckers that I let her nom while they were walking around. (Eventually I took the suckers away because she started leaving them, sucked on and sticky, behind in peoples bowls in exchange for new candy). We got her home, let her eat dinner and munch on some more goodies, and then it was off to bed for her and Project Runway for Heath and I.

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Ruby Now (10.1.2013)

10/5/2013

4 Comments

Potty training is in full swing. Things are going pretty well I think. I have however touched more poo in the last few weeks than I'd really care to. It is truly amazing the kind of shit (pun intended) you do without hesitation (okay, maybe there was a little hesitation) when you're doing stuff for your kid. The most annoying thing has been the "I need to go to the restroom!" every 5 minutes while we are out shopping. Of course I take her because I don't want her to pee in the middle of the store and then she either pees just a teeeeny bit or her ass hits the seat and she's like, "I'm done!" and wants to go back on her merry little way.
Yesterday morning I tried to brush her hair but she said, "No, I do it!" and she sat in her little chair brushing her hair while I brushed mine and then said, "I just like you" in her sweet little Ruby voice. It made me melt.
She is obsessed with babies. And by "babies" I mean any human being that is smaller than her. We went to Target last weekend and as we were coming into the store a woman with an 18-ish month old came out. Ruby saw the kid and, pointed, and yelled (in a loud squawk-y demonic voice), "BABY!!" Thankfully the mother thought it was the most adorable thing ever instead of being freaked out and running in the opposite direction, clutching the child to her bosom.
She's has started singing along with songs that I play on the radio. Heath recorded a little video of her singing along with House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots, but I haven't watched it. (I'm singing in the video too so it is unlikely that it will ever see the light of the Internet) She also likes to sing "I DON'T Care! I love it!" by Icona Pop. Of course when each song is over she demands to hear it again...and again..and again.

Her favorite TV show right now is the Land Before Time series, not the awesome original movie, the series. Have you ever seen it? Oh wait, you can still hear? That means you haven't seen it. Because if you had you'd have gouged your ear drums out with the closest sharp instrument. Gees, the songs are terr. i. ble. And the story lines are bad, and the animation is not so great. Yep, yep, yep! I'd prefer never to see it again but it comes in quite handy when I just need to get some shit done because, man is she glued to that screen. I'm pretty sure a whole parade of puppies and babies could go by the house and she wouldn't even notice. Wait. I think I've bitched about this before....See? That is how awful it is!
She is very aware of butts n' boobs. She really likes to point out hers to you, "See my booty?" "Daddy, look at my booty!" and if you happen to be undressing she'll say stuff like, "Ewww! Booty!" or giggle like Beevis and say, "boobies". She'll also request for you to "Smack my booty!" Yeah. I have no idea where she got tha
There are several mornings when I'll go into her room to get her ready for daycare and she'll yell at me and say, "Go away! Leave me alone!" or "I don't want to get up!" My response to this, as I drag her kicking and screaming from the crib is, "Trust me honey, mommy would rather be in bed right now too." I really didn't expect to get this kind of behavior until she started school!

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Mon, Sep 30, 2013

9/30/2013

2 Comments

Greetings. From the bed. Where I've been 75% of the time since Thursday evening. When I finally went to seek medical attention on Saturday I was told I had allergies. I've never had allergies before. I suspected an sinus infection and ended up filling a prescription for antibiotics when my temp neared 100.

Lots of Sudafed, Allegra, Amoxicillian, and copious amounts of Kleenex later and I am still not 100%. Sleep, although I am exhausted has been little due to sinus pressure, sneezing, and snotting. I have, however, been able to get through almost 3 seasons of Drop Dead Diva, which for some reason I am totally addicted to.

Hopefully I'll be better soon. Our trip to Asheville is scheduled for Friday!

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September 22nd, 2013

9/22/2013

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This past weekend started off on a high note. The reception for a group show that I was invited to participate in was on Friday. When Heath and I walked into the gallery I noticed a little red dot by my piece! (for those of you who don't know, that means the work had been sold!) Yay! But at the same time I'll miss those little guys. (yes, yes, I know I can make more but I still get attached to them) After hanging out at the gallery a bit we went over to West Sixth for some beeeeeeer! And then to pick up Ruby from daycare.

Saturday we took Ruby to get a haircut. Her first haircut was really just a trim so this was her first major cut. We were going back and forth as to what style to give her. I was all about going all out and giving her a pixie cut. After all, she really doesn't care at this point. (we kept asking her during the week if we could shave her head and she kept saying, "okay") Heath wasn't completely sold on the pixie but he was adamant about not wanting the short, across the forehead bangs. What we got was a assymetrical bob, short in the back, angled, and then long in the front.

She wasn't 100% cooperative during the cut. We tried Netflix but that didn't work very well because she kept pressing buttons that would start the movie over again or hits the home button and backed out completely. Instead we ended up bribing her with suckers. It wasn't happening otherwise and our stylist had already made a major cut so it had to be finished at that point. In all, about 8" was taken off of the back but the sides were basically just trimmed. Her hair looks much, much healthier and so much thicker. Way better than her Christopher Lloyd-esque hair before, right? I tried to get a different "after" picture but alas, she was very angsty for the rest of the day.

Sunday was our typical get shit done we should have gotten done during last week so that things aren't a total disaster this week day. This means laundry, dishes, and other general cleaning. We also went grocery shopping. Oh, and there were naps. We always gets naps on the weekends. I think I sleep when Ruby sleeps more now than I did when she was an infant. She definitely wears me out way more now!

It's the first daHow did you spend the gorgeous fall weekend?

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The Anti-Room Makeover

9/13/2013

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I love decorating magazines and websites. My favorites are Dwell, House Beautiful, Apartment Therapy, and Offbeat Home, among others. Even though our house is nothing like the 4000 sq. ft. house on the beach or the 200 sq. ft. space in NYC which seem to dominate these sites and magazines, I figured that I could take our average, run-of-the mill 1800 sq.ft. ranch out in suburbia and make it ''ours". So in my head, for a loooong time, I've been doing two things. 1. Finally getting the house put together, and 2. composing one of those Before/After This Is How I Decorated My Space blog post in my head that would somehow be awesome enough to be on Offbeat Home (which features more Real Life homes).

Notice I said, "in my head" because, let me tell you, that decorating is neither my strong-suit or, apparently, a priority. We've been in our house for 10 years as of July and, Pergo flooring and different furniture aside, it has barely changed. Some of it is because H and I don't always agree on furniture/style/art and because of that we just don't do anything, a lot of it is lack of time, and most of it probably a nice big case of I Just Don't Care That Much. Obviously, if I really cared I would make it a priority, right?

So because I need something to blog about it and I find it a little amusing, here's a mini house tour, AS IS as of this morning. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Our first stop: The kitchen!

please excuse my lack of panorama photo skills

1. Container of batteries that I've been meaning to/trying to recycle for a long time. I've been told by several places to "just throw them away" but I can't bring myself to do it.
2. Dishwasher and countertop full of clean dishes.
3. More dishes that still need to be washed.
4. Blender on the stove because that was the only empty space when I went to make smoothies this morning.
5. Cool stoplight sign that I've been meaning to hang for months.
6. New table that I am totally in love with. In my head I'd have a cool table runner and my collection of vintage Fiesta mixing bowls (which are currently hidden in away) running down the middle. The chairs are like 20 years old and have been glued and re-glued several times.
7. Target bag, water bottle, journal, and other junk that is inevitably dumped upon the table every day. Sometimes it's cleared away for dinner. Sometimes it's not.

On to the living room!

1. Ruby's table. This acts as Ruby's table, a side table or an ottoman, depending on the time of day and who is sitting in...
2. this vintage green chair that I found at Peddler's Mall. Oliver clawed the crap out of the top of it and while I was angry at the time, now whenever I rub my fingers across the top of it I think of him.
3. Art! On the wall! This was all hung before Ruby was born and really needs to be moved around now that the furniture situation has changed. (we used to have a sectional that went all along the wall where the green chair is) There is more art and photos of Ruby (birth to 2 years) that needs to be hung as well. I'll take the fact that those are at least printed and in a frame as a victory in itself.
4. Our pretty, amazing, gorgeous, new blue couch. Covered in afghans and throw pillows. All the better to protect it from claws, toddlers, and the occasionally klutzy adult. A little anal, I know, but dangit! I want the couch to look good for a least a couple of months! (see a better pic of the sofa here)
5. Vintage, claw-footed, spinny table with leather top, rescued from Peddler's mall for $100 and lovingly restored by someone who knew what they're doing, now covered with daycare reports cards, junk mail, a pair of jeans, books, cups, game controllers, and more.
6. Play kitchen that I'd love to get the heck outta the living room because a certain little girl never touches the thing unless she has a friend over (which rarely happens). Unfortunately the changing table in her room is taking up the space where I'd like it to go. For now it will just be a great place for me to put my wallet and keys.
7. Donations for the Goodwill and a plethora of shoes. You'd think that we didn't have a shoe organizer in the closet.
8. Just a hint of the cord-gasm that is going on behind me from the PS3, Xbox, TV, and the DVR. A First World Problem, for sure.

Perhaps I should be embarrassed? Meh. Whatever, lol.

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Ruby's Favorite Word

9/6/2013

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It's no secret, I like to curse. And out of all the "bad" words my favorite is fuck. There's just something so satisfying when you say that word. It's one solid syllable that is able to express perfectly the frustration and/or anger I feel in the situation where I feel the need to use it. I dropped my iPhone, shattering the screen? Fuuuck! Forgot my wallet at home? Fuck! I just got an $800 bill from an ER trip where they literally just took Ruby's temperature and sent us on our way? Fuck! See? It just works so perfectly!

So I am guessing that you know where I am heading with this. Ruby has started to say the f-word. The first time she said it was months ago. I think I said it while on the way home and in traffic. I said it and from the backseat I hear her sweet little voice repeat it. ''fuck''. I didn't react, didn't say, "Don't say that bad, bad word!" or anything like that. I just let it go in the hopes that by not drawing attention to it that it would just be a one time thing.

Weeeeelll, that didn't exactly work. I'd hear her say it everyone once in a while but I still ignored it. One time, again on the way home from daycare, I heard her in the back saying, "fuckfuckfuckfuck fuck fuck!" over and over again. She did this several days in a row. I am certain that I didn't say the word and that send her off in a diatribe of fucks so I really don't know where it came from. She'd even started using it in the right context. She'd be struggling to get her shoes on in the morning and she'd say"fuck!'" One time she dropped her glass and spilled milk everywhere..Oh wait..I think that was dammit...probably after hearing me say that, too. Oops. See, I am an equal opportunity swearer.

Anyway. So I wasn't too concerned about it until the weekend of Woodland when Ruby was with her grandparents and she used the word, again in frustration because she couldn't get her shoe on, but this time grandpa heard her say it. And he spanked her. Yeah. So since then we've been working on trying to get her not to say the f-word anymore. I've explained to her that ''fuck is a word for mommy and daddy to use" (even though H very rarely swears) and that she shouldn't use it. Then she'd say, "I not say fuck!" lol. So I've given her alternatives: Can't get your shoes on?? Say, "awwww, man!" instead! Spilled your drink? Say, "bummer!" instead!

So far I think we've made some progress but we are not totally out of the F-in woods yet. Occasionally something will happen and she'll start to say, "fuu....." but then I'll catch her and give her 'the look' complete with raised eye brow and it turns into, "fuuu...awwww man!" I've caught her whispering it over and over again very, very quietly under her breath. When she knows that I've noticed she breaks out in a huge grin and starts to giggle. And I laugh right back, which I know is probably not cool, but dangit! It's funny! Yes, Mother of the Year I am not, not that I am really trying for it. The funny thing is that daycare has not mentioned anything about it and I've never heard her say while we are out in public, only while we are at home.

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World's Longest Yard Sale

8/27/2013

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Back at the beginning of August I was able to attend the World's Longest Yard Sale. This year was the first time that I'd been able to attend the sale, in years past something has always come up that got in the way. I should have been in the studio working but I really needed a break so I went with my friend Susan, armed with a cooler of snacks, water, and some extra TP-just in case.

On the way out of town we hit up Doughdaddy's donuts in Versailles. (Susan and I have slowly been making our way through the Kentucky Donut Trail) Sadly, since having donuts from North Lime coffee and Donuts, well, these just kind of tasted like moosh. I was so unimpressed that I---wait for it---didn't eat the donuts. (note the plural?) WHAAA? Yep. True Story.

After that bitter disappointment we drove to Frankfort to hit 127 with the intentions of working our way down to Danville but we didn't really make it much further! In fact, we only hit up 4 spots the entire day! Thankfully the spots we did stop at had a ton of vendors! Here's a look of some awesome and crazy things that we found:

Do you see what I see? Maybe, if you've got the same sick sense of humor....

yep, we saw lots of nazi memorabilia. Apparently as you get further south you can actually run into KKK booths. WTF, people!

I was definitely hoping to run across some of these...

I scored these two R's for Ruby

A handy way to spice up the dinner table

OOOH! GPK! $50? Boo. Yes, there were a lot of them but most of them were faded or coming off of the card. If they'd been cheaper I may have bought them to fill in some blanks in my own collection.

Of course we saw the motherload of these tables. AFTER we just bought a new kitchen table. BOO.

Loved the detail on this one.

It's rainin' man dolls.

Straight outta' Nip/Tuck or Dexter or something...

we saw our fair share of creepy dolls, a lot with eye issues.

LOVED those canisters and that cabinet.

And the award for Thing I Should Have Bought But Put Back and Now I'm Kicking Myself goes to......these metal gas station numbers! The guy wanted $5 each but there was one number missing to complete our house number. Heath was even totally on board with this idea (whaaa?) so I was even more bummed. Since passing them up I've come to find that these can go for up to $30 each. Dangit!! Oh Why didn't I just buy them and then search for the missing digit??

What I did score were several Golden Books for Ruby, a bin of giant Duplo block (which she's played with for a whole 2 minutes and then moved on. What is with this kid and not liking toys??), a sweet vintage necklace and ring, a few vintage My Little Pony, and an old school Booby Trap board game. I definitely plan on going again next year. After all, I have yet to find my Holy Grail of thrifting finds, a card catalog. One day it will be mine. Oh, yes. It will be mine.

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