Laurie Appleby-Williams
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January 30th, 2014

1/30/2014

4 Comments

 
Tonight was one of the not-so-great parenting nights. There is a Noodles and Company by us opening in a few days and we were invited to enjoy a preview dinner. For FREE! Win! N&C is one of H's favorite restaurants so we were pretty psyched. 

Cue a certain little girl who decided not to take a nap at daycare. 

As we entered the restaurant someone gave Ruby a ginormous Rice Krispie bar. I took it away from her, stuck it in my bag and told her she could have some after dinner. Two seconds later, when I was distracted by ordering food, she snuck the bar out of the bag and started opening it. I took it away from her which caused her to throw herself to the floor and start screaming her head off. I picked her up, spanked her (as best you can when attempting to hold a screaming, wriggly toddler on your hips, exposing your stomach all the while. Thanks for that one, Rubes). 

At the table she calmed down a bit but was no less intent on her goal of consuming the rice krispie bar. She was mildly distracted by the arrival of our pasta and ate a few bites after we again told her she could have the bar after she ate. Of course, to her eating two measly bites is eating a full meal, thus entitling her to eat the rice krispie bar. We pressed her to eat just a bit more and she completely melted down. We tried to talk to her and get her to calm down but that didn't worked so H carried her out of the (very, very crowded) restaurant kicking and screaming. I flagged down a server to get to-go containers. 

Of course when your kid is screaming at the top of their lungs in a packed restaurant (I'm talking the line to order was out the door) it seemed like it took H like ten minutes to get her the hell out of there. I was totally mortified and practically in tears. On my way out of the restaurants a woman in line for drinks patted me on the shoulder and told me, "Don't worry, it'll be okay" and gave me a sympathetic smile.  (I love people like this, btw) I thought I was doing a somewhat decent job at hiding the fact that I was upset but apparently not. 

As soon as I got into the car I burst into tears. I was just SO frustrated with the situation. Frustrated that she behaved the way that she did, frustrated that we couldn't get the situation under control, and dangit, totally friggin' frustrated that I just couldn't enjoy a dang meal isthatsomuchtoask! I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Realistically I am sure that a good chunk of my fellow diners have or have had kids and have been in the same boat before and are at least somewhat sympathetic or ate least more tolerant of those kinds of things. I just don't want to be the parent of THAT child or be one of THOSE parents who let their kids scream and scream and scream in public. 

So on the way home Ruby's in the back screaming (still) and I'm in the front sobbing. Poor Heath. He asked if there was anything that he could do but I just kind of shrugged. I hatehatehate doubting everything that we do with her when it comes to discipline. I just don't know if what we are doing is the right thing for the situation at hand or perhaps we are being too lenient but then I don't want to be too much of a hard ass either. Or I don't know if the punishment that we are doling out fits the crime or if it's totally pointless because she doesn't remember what she did/isn't developmentally able to understand what is going on. And I know you are supposed to be consistent but there are some days when I feel like I am sending her to her room every 5 minutes for one offense or the other, sometimes the exact same offense! ARGH!!! 

In the end we got home and put her immediately to bed after we had a talk with her. I know it wasn't pointless to have the conversation with her, even though I am sure that she'll forget everything we said. It'll stick eventually, right?? Please, for the luvva God, tell me that it will stick.

You know what she won't forget about though? That gd rice krispie bar. 

**the next morning I opened her door to find her naked and trying to get dressed. She looked at me and smiled and then asked, "Where's my treat??" Uh huh.**

4 Comments
Amber
1/30/2014 04:36:44 pm

Laurie, you've got a wild child with an independent streak most adults can't even muster. That's what makes her so awesome, even if it's also what makes you go crazy. I'm too scared to be a parent, but I was with my sister when my nephew (2yo at the time) decided to be an asshole at a packed Bob Evans. That's what he was being - an asshole. We were starving and had waited like an hour for a table. Not only was he being THAT KID inside the restaurant, when we got so fed up and took him to the car for a timeout, he smacked his mother in the face. That pissed me off and made her cry. Neither of us were emotionally equipped to be consistent with discipline. So we put him in his car seat in the car and closed the door on him. Then we called him every name in the book. Then we fantasized about leaving that little asshole at that Bob Evans for someone else to raise. Then we collected ourselves, forgave ourselves for all the evil things we'd said, and gave him another chance to be a nice kid instead of a lunatic asshole. The whole experience made me understand why my mom still loves to say, "You know I love you because I let you live."

Don't be too hard on yourself. And there's no shame in Benadryl ;)

Reply
Laurie Appleby-Williams
1/31/2014 01:07:56 am

Thanks, Amber :) You always make me feel better.

Did you know that sometimes Benadryl has the opposite affect on kids?? That it can make them hyper? Oh the humanity!! I have been tempted to give her some on plane rides but decides that it wasn't worth the risk!

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Laura Burks
2/11/2014 03:52:39 am

Man, oh man, do I know what you're talking about. Branham is much, MUCH worse about this when we're all three together. If it's just me, he knows better than to act like that. I find that what works really well for him is squatting down to his level, holding him (with my hands on his arms) so that he's facing me, asking him to look at me and mom-ninja-whisper-yelling about whatever it is he's doing.
With the treat, I probably would have MNWY'd "Branham, look at me. You have two choices: you can eat your dinner and then eat the treat or you can sit in time out and I will throw the treat away. Which one do you want to do?" I've found that extreme opposites in choices work well. Basically-- do the right thing or die/nap/time out/have all your things thrown away. LOL. Good luck <3

Reply
Laurie Appleby-Williams
2/11/2014 06:35:09 am

I wish Ruby minded when it was just her and I, but no, she's an equal opportunity misbehaver :) Hopefully she doesn't teach B anything when they are in class together!

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