Laurie Appleby-Williams
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July 07th, 2014

7/7/2014

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It was a pretty uneventful three day weekend. We celebrated the 4th with our friends on Thursday evening with good food (Ruby ate three cupcakes), adult conversation, and fireworks.  I think we meant to do something fun and/or productive on the actual holiday but we didn't for whatever reason. 
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"too loud!!"
Saturday I got together with friends and tried the Wallace Station Deli for the first time-YUM! Afterwards we went on a photo tour of the abandoned Old Crow Distillery in Frankfort, KY. 
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The tour, lead by those who bought the property with the goal of reestablishing the site as a new distillery, was interesting but most of the time I was lagging behind the group taking photos. The whole thing was basically a texture photographers wet dream.
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In baby news, still no indication that he/she will be here in the very near future. LOTS of movement but that's about it. I choose not to be checked as far as dilation goes so I have no idea what is going on up in there. Fuck. I can't believe that it's week 39 already. 

I'm ready, not because I am physically taxed or anything, but I am ready as far as just wanting things to be done so I can stop worrying about the WHEN and all of the other logistical things surrounding birth (where will Ruby be when it all goes down, if my doula will be able to attend my birth).

In general I am somewhat anxious about how things will go this time around. I'm not sure how likely it is that I'll have a wham-bam-thank-you-mam quick (but very intense) birth again and I'm trying to not get caught up in the idea that some second deliveries are faster than the first. I feel like if I do  then I won't be mentally prepared to handle it if things last longer. But at the same time I don't want to be all gloom and doom, oh my god I'm going to be in labor for 48 hours ohthehumanity!! because, you know, self-fulfilling prophecy and all that.

So I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst while also remaining optimistic that things will go as smoothly the second time around. Two words. Mind. Fuck. Or these two: Over Thinking. But that's just how I roll, my friends, I can't help myself! If I really calm down and get out of my head, I do fully trust my body to know what to do and sooner rather than later I'll be doped up on those amazing endorphins that got me through the first time around. 
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